Chrysanthemum Petals
by Mercy Of Baal
Summary: She had forgotten what it felt like to need to breathe.
1. Chapter 1: Wake up

Haha. A bit embarrassed about posting this. Can't be worse than My Immortal right?

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Wake up

She hasn't slept in a long time. 50 years actually, her mind supplies. That's why she is disoriented when she wakes up, even more so because everything is _different._ Her mind moves sluggishly and her vision seems impaired, everything is so _dull._ She stands up and marvels at her body that is so weak. Her throat isn't parched. _Human_ she thinks.

"Edward?"

She winces at the weird pitch and sits breathing harshly. She has forgotten what it feels like to need to breathe. Bella looks around and she recognizes where she is. It's her old room in Arizona, which for all intents and purposes is gone. She brings her hands to her chest to better focus and tries to break the illusion, but nothing is there. Her power is gone and it doesn't feel like an illusion. She remembers how those feel. You can't act upon those, and certainly her body wouldn't feel like this. The thoughts in her brain are shuttered and she knows something is _missing_.

She stands and goes to the window. Its dawn and a few rays of sunlight filter through. Bella's hand under the light don't sparkle like diamonds. She sits on the chair beside the window and contemplates her conundrum.

Bella turns as she hears the door open, almost expecting Edward. Instead her mother stands there. Her very young mother who is looking faintly worried.

"Why aren't you ready? Last day of school in Arizona sweetheart"

She doesn't know what to say. Her mother comes forward to put a palm on her forehead. "You don't feel hot. Don't want to go?"

She wraps her arms around her mother who had died many, many, years ago. Bella hadn't gone to see her after the 'plane crash' not even once. She didn't know if she could have kept away if she saw her crying. Last time, her mother had been on her deathbed and talking nonsense, but still recognized Bella.

"Oh honey! It's not too late to change your mind. You can stay, Phil doesn't mind"

Her mother sounds choked up so she lets go and steps back. "No, it's fine. I just realized I'm going to miss you terribly"

A few tears escape and she touches her hand to her face. She had forgotten she could do that. Her mother hugs her tightly again, crying too.

"I want to spend the day with you if that's alright"

"Oh of course it is!"

They change and go out to breakfast. She uses her funds to buy her mother pretty shirts. Her mother in exchange buys her a nice jacket that even on clearance is expensive. They go watch a movie. Go walking in the city and buy expensive coffees that are too bitter. Bella has one of the best days she's had for a long time.

The next day my mother had a nice tan building from all the walking. All Bella had was just an itchy blotchy red in the cheeks and forehead. Her mother laughed when the teen put her face in the freezer before she grabbed a bottle of Aloe and put some on her daughters face. The cold was welcome but it still felt weird on her face. She tried not to scratch it. Phil arrived in the middle of them making waffles. Bella had tasked her mother with making coffee after she had brought the things needed to make the mix.

"Nice tan Bella" Phil started laughing as soon as he saw her, but grabbed the spray for the waffle iron and Bella passed him the bowl of mix in reproach and sat down. Renee pecked him in the lips before grabbing some plates.

"Fine. I'll make them but I get the first one then" He said laughing. He was like that. Always smiling and trying to make someone laugh.

Bella ate the waffle hot as it came straight out of the iron, ignoring the weird looks. Animal blood only diet for the past 50 years had gotten boring. The new flavors tasted delicious.

"Umm. Are you nervous about leaving Bella?" Phil said throwing a look from her mother to her.

"why?" She said blowing on her cup

"You never drink coffee. Or eat that much" Her mother answered after a few seconds. 'Bella-"

"Its fine mom. Really. It is" She said but they still looked skeptic "I'm looking forward to seeing Dad and I'll come visit during summer"

"It's just…you have been acting a bit weird honey" her mother said worrying her lip. Bella didn't really remember how she had acted in her teenage years.

Bella put her cup down and grabbed her hand "I'm sad about leaving, but I still want to do it. I'll call every day, I promise"

"If you're sure" Phil said putting an arm around her mother and Bella nodded her head.

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That same day she waved her mother goodbye before entering the plane. She had four hours to think about Forks. She'd given up on finding out how this had happened. She was more worried about who also remembered the past. What about Renesmee? Her stomach curled up in sadness. She wouldn't weep now. Would her family remember?

She got off the plane and into another. This time the flight was shorter. Her father was waiting for her after she got off the plane and she went to hug him tightly.

"Dad!" he seemed cheered by her reaction, but was blushing faintly.

"Bells, how was the flight?" He asked her gently taking her small duffel bag. In her past, hey had talked often and she had visited her many times at her island. She had mourned his death for many years.

"Long" she said as she waited for her bags. "Mom says hi, by the way"

His expression was weird, but she could guess. They walked out to the car and put the bags in the trunk. The cruiser brought back a few memories of her years in Forks. She asked questions to her Dad about his job and the people she remembered, surprising him. During a lull in the conversation he chuckled when he heard her stomach rumbling. Charlie had gotten more relaxed as they talked. She had been dreadful last time, she thought guiltily.

"We can stop and get something on the way home. Pizza? Burger?"

He was a terrible cook, she remembered. Gotten only a bit better after marrying Sue.

"Burger sounds fine" She woke up to Charlie shaking her awake. They had gotten to the restaurant in Forks already. He seemed worried.

"Just Jetlag. I'm sure I'll be fine after a goodnight sleep"

She eats a greasy fat burger, the fries, and the coke with relish. A few people wave to Charlie and come to introduce themselves. It's late but that doesn't seem to stop the people watching the game at the other side of the restaurant. A pretty waitress brings her another order of fries with a wink 'for her return'. Charlie had apparently told the whole town. She's pushing the last ones around her plate tiredly as they wait for the bill.

"That good?" Charlie asked with a smile. A bit guilty for not stopping at Phoenix even though she waved the concerns away.

"been on a diet" Bella said half-joking.

"You're skinny snuff as it is? Did you have anyone…?" He trails off and scratches his cheek. Had she been dieting for anyone back at Arizona?

"Ah no, nothing like that. I would have told you" He blushes again but seems relieved.

They make it home with no hiccups. Her father carries her bags upstairs and after standing awkwardly he exits with a swift goodnight, but not before kissing her forehead and telling her how glad he is that she's there.

She doesn't do more than brush her teeth and change into sweats before she curls up on the bed, unrolling the new bed covers. She hasn't felt like this for a long time. She isn't used to the cold, the heat, the flavors, the need to breathe, the messy way she walks, or the loneliness she feels right now. She misses Edward being beside her. He doesn't come the whole night.

She wakes up around noon, finding Charlie in the couch watching TV. He smiles as he sees her come does the stairs.

"didn't want to wake you" He said "I was waiting for you to eat lunch"

He waves him to sit down and sets to prepare food. She makes simple omelets and toast, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"What do you think of doing today?" Charlie asks as he sits to eat.

"Umm. My things won't be here until a few days. But I do need to go buy more clothes for this weather and supplies for school. Maybe look for a car"

He smiles secretly but tells her where she can get the things.

An hour later she hears a rumbling in front of her house while tidying up her room. She stuffs her old toys and knickknacks in boxes. Through the window she spies Charlie talking to a man in a wheelchair and someone that makes her heart soar. Her father sees her and waves her down.

"Hello" She says coming forward to shake Billy's hand. She can't help but hug a surprised Jacob "Hello Jacob"

"Ah you remember this old man" Billy grins at his blushing son.

"Of course, too torturous to forget those trips. Charlie's fishing partner and my suffering Mud Pie buddy" She said without reproach.

Charlie looks a bit embarrassed to remember making her go through what she obviously didn't like. He had tried too hard to make her like a 'boring' life at Forks that he sort of lost her eventually.

He coughed "Ah. Billy just came off to drop your present" he points at the truck.

"Really?" She asked grinning. "How much?"

"A present is a present" Billy said. She walked around running her hand smiling gently. The last cars she had owned were slick and expensive. This one was old, bold, and loud.

"Thank you, I love it" She meant it and they noticed. She got in the car and Jacob on the other.

'You gotta double-" She smirked as the car roared to life. His eyes widened in surprise.

She rolled down the windows. "Going to give it a try" Charlie and Bill moved out of the way "Clean the grill! We'll be back in a few"

She pulled out of the driveway towards the town.

"umm. Where are we going?"

She smiled "isn't it game day? I suddenly have extra money."

They stopped by a store that Jacob swore had the best marinated fajitas. They ran around the store after that grabbing chips, drinks, and whatever looked good.

"Dad said to get coal" She said checking her phone. "you guys didn't have any plans right?" She asked a bit guiltily.

Jacob hunched over in loud guff-gaffs "now you worry about that?" he opened a bag of chips even though an employee glared and took some out. "No plans"

Then got back home where Charlie and Billy were drinking a beer on the porch.

That same night she woke up to knocks on her window. She didn't bother to turn the light, almost running towards it. She paused when she recognized the face on the other side.

No, it wasn't Edward.

"Nahuel?"


	2. Chapter 2: Never Twice

So. Umm more?

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Never Twice

"Nahuel?"

He was the cause of this? She opened the window after he nodded. As soon as he came in he closed the window blinds. He hugged her a bit tight, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"Isabella" He said letting go. She sat down on her bed.

"What's going on? What- I" She didn't even know what to ask.

"It's the past" Nahuel said sitting down beside her "it was necessary"

"Explain" She said sharply. He sounded worried.

"We were losing the war Isabella" He touched the necklace around his neck. His aunt's. "We found a way back. Renesmee found a way back. We kept it hidden or they would have crushed us with everything they had. She gave us time"

She felt it in her chest. The panic rising. "To change things"

"Nothing happens the same way twice" He said, head falling in mourning. A sob escaped her and she put a hand to her mouth. She understood. Renesmee would never be again.

"Why didn't she-"He grabbed her hand, his skin was warm.

"She felt it wasn't enough time and…that she was the cause of it"

'It' was the war. By the time they had found out Aro was building an army of Halflings it had been too late. Renesmee proved how fast their growth rate was. They weren't uncontrollable like Newborns. They were generally weaker but their powers stronger, and Aro had been careful to hide his plans. Found his own shield. They had tried calling everyone together, some who never found their way to them. Nahuel, his aunt, and Jennifer (his youngest sister), had made it. Along with most of those who had stood with them when Renesmee was introduced to the world. When it was clear Aro was murdering anyone who had even a bit of power, more had joined them. It hadn't been enough to stop the whole guard and his new army. They had been losing battle after battle. Carlisle, Esme, Emmet, Jasper, and eventually Alice. They were going to lose and they knew it. Jennifer and Renesmee working together…

"Take me back!" She sobbed when he grimaced. He couldn't.

"She made me promise to tell you that she doesn't regret her decision and to keep everyone safe" He suddenly put a finger to her mouth, shushing her. He relaxed after a few seconds. Charlie was probably tossing in bed, she couldn't hear a thing.

"They will come again. You know this. We need to start building our own defenses. I can't do it myself Isabella. I have to be careful about who I let know about me"

"I need my family. We need my family" she said seriously and he nodded. They had been some of the best fighters…and yes, they were family.

"This….This is our only chance. It cant be done again. Not without Renesmee. They can't know. Your mind is shielded but theirs isn't. Not until the right time"

She bit her lip but agreed.

"I need to go. Or they will catch my scent." He said breathing deeply and giving her a piece of paper with a phone number "we need allies" He kissed her forehead.

"Until then, Isabella" and she was alone again.

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Is Renesmee truly gone? Yes


	3. Chapter 3: Homesick

So why did Renesmee off herself even though 3 years isn't much? Because she thought she would be too hard of a secret to keep. Aro would find out about Halflings that much sooner.

Also sorry if I use 1st point of view. I was reading Twilight as reference and I get messed up.

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Second First Day

That morning she was happy to have a reason to get up instead of pacing around her room. She took a long shower to try to take the headache away. She used scented lotion on every inch of her skin and braided her hair tight to her head. She used a long sleeve turtleneck to try to keep her scent from going everywhere. She knew it wouldn't help much, vampiric sense of smell was very strong, but she still felt it was necessary to try.

She was quiet during breakfast and told her worried father that she was just nervous. She couldn't muster the energy to hide her feelings, not when Renesmee was lost to her. She ran a hand over her stomach.

She stood up to get her bag, her empty backpack she noticed. Bella had forgotten to get the supplies after spending her day with Jacob. She left the house not wanting to stay there with her thoughts. She stopped by the store to grab a notebook and pencil before going to school. It was just like she remembered. Small cluttered houses surrounding a bigger building.

She'd meet them again today.

She got her schedule and made it to class early. It didn't matter no one was there yet. The teacher had to look at the chart to sit her, and sent her to the back. She threw her wet jacket on the back of her seat ignoring the teacher grimacing at the small puddles. She didn't bother to check the list, knowing she had read them already, probably multiple times. She put her head down on the cold table and ignored the sound of students coming in. It wasn't until the teacher cleared his throat for attention that she sat straight. She mostly let his lecture wash over her, ignoring interested looks.

As soon as the bell rang a student turned around. Eric.

"Isabella Swan right?" She had to stop thinking Cullen.

"Yes" A few more students turned around but didn't talk.

"What's your next class?" Bella hoped she didn't talk to have much more.

"Government" she answered not wanting to humor him.

He smiled a bit awkwardly then. "That's building six. I'm going to four. I can show you"

She nodded again and put her stuff up. She touched her temples as the cold made her headache worse.

"you okay?" Bella flinched. She'd forgotten about Eric walking beside her. "Yeah. Just a headache"

"Maybe I should take you to the nurse" He said worried now.

"Not like she can give me anything" I said relaxing "Just used to different weather"

He smiled at the topic of conversation "Ah right. Always sunny in Arizona" He laughed at his joke.

He opened the door for her and then waved goodbye with a friendly smile. "Hope you feel better"

Her backpack got heavier in the next two classes and so did her headache. She introduced herself testily in Trigonometry and sat down without talking to anyone. No one tried talking to Bella after she answered questions in one word. Finally, after the bell rang in Spanish, she exited the class. She sat on a bench outside regardless of the biting January cold, not feeling hungry. She didn't think she could see them without wanting to tell them everything.

Bella leaned over and threw up, hoping no one saw her. She wanted to curl up and sob. She cursed her teenage body. She wasn't used to being weak. A water bottle appeared on her peripheral vision.

Alice was standing there holding an open water bottle. She fixed her gobsmacked look and took it gently. Last time she'd seen Alice was before they were ambushed. She remembered the pyre attacking her senses when she was fighting in rage against her own enemies. Rosalie had arrived just in time and helped her fight them off.

"Thank you" She said after spitting the water out.

"Welcome. Need help to the nurse?" the pixie looking girl asked her

"I just want to sit here" she said and Alice sat down beside her after a few seconds.

"Might as well. They'll just send you home. Though that might be a good thing" Bella flinched when the cold hand touched her forehead. Alice let it drop gently, looking embarrassed. "Sorry cold hands"

"Ah, its fine. It felt good" She wanted to hug her friend tightly. Alice's expression did something, and Bella realized she had just thought of hugging her. Alice might have _seen_ her actions. She turned the water bottle in her hands not knowing what to say.

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She groaned and sat up. "Isabella Swan?" she turned to Carlisle and relaxed, before noticing where she was.

"hospital?"

The man smiled gently, making her want to hug him too "I'm Doctor Carlisle Cullen. You fainted in the car when my daughter, Alice, was taking you home"

Right, of course. Alice had offered to take her home and she had accepted. Charlie was probably going to be worried as hell.

"Your father is on his way" She grimaced and he looked apologetic. She drank water while Charlie arrived.

"Please tell me you didn't tell mom" He relaxed when he saw she was on the bed looking fine, pale but fine.

"not yet" Charlie said.

"not ever, please" Bella said. Carlisle entered the room, making her heart stutter.

"Increase of appetite, headaches, loss of appetite, fever, insomnia, fainting"

Said Carlisle making a checklist. That sounded bad.

"you might be anemic. Have you been dieting?"

"No-"

"Yes" Charlie said standing up

"No" She repeated "it was a joke. I haven't been unhealthy"

"Could be stress" The doctor continued making it worse for Charlie. Stress about moving to Forks. "Blood tests will confirm"

Bella leaned back in bed as Charlie talked to Carlisle. She was incredibly happy to see him but the headache was still there. They probably thought she was puking in the toilet.

A nurse came back and she watched as she prepared the tubes and her arm for Carlisle, who came over to take blood samples. Bella watched as he filled them quickly and then noticed Charlie was looking at her strangely. Right. She had been afraid of blood before.

Her headache dissipated with the strong ibuprofen and the Doctor let her go after a few minutes, telling her to come back if she felt worse.

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End file.
